Pronk Needs You!

It’s been awhile since we checked in on the Tribesters as they play out the string.  Since July 28, 2008, the following things are true:

• The Indians split 4 with the Motor City Kitties, who are looking increasingly dysfunctional and in danger of being passed by the KC Royals for third place in the division.  Among the highlights of the series:
  • Kelly Shoppach had 5 extra-base hits, including a game-tying home run in the 9th, and the Indians still lost Game 3 14-12 in 13 innings. The Indians had many chances to win the game, and the bullpen had many opportunities not to blow several leads.
  • Age and Treachery v 2.0 with his new look noon-windmill windup shut out the Kitties in Game 1.
  • Matt Ginter looked like Matt Ginter, losing Game 2
  • Fausto looked more like Fausto in winning Game 4
• The Non-waiver Trading Deadline passed and the Indians made no more moves.  Manny is now being Manny in LA for the Dodgers, though and it is only a matter of time until we hear Chris Berman refer to Jason “Back” Bay, as he is now a member of FEDBU-Lite.
• The Tribesmen lost 2 of 3 to the Twinkies in the Abomination Dome.  The executive summary
  • Sowers was perfect through five in Game 1 – then he lost.  Once again, the Indians were befuddled by Nick Blackburn for no good reason.
  • Age and Treachery v 2.0 pwned the Twinkies in Game 2.  David Dellucci starts to look like he’d like out before the August deadline, falling a triple short of the cycle.
  • Matt Ginter looked like Matt Ginter and Francisco Liriano looked like Francisco Liriano in Game 3.  Twinkies 6, Indians 2
• The Indians managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory to lose 2 of 3 to the Rays in St. Petersburg.  The executive summary:
  • Game 1 looked like the continuation of everything that went wrong for the Rays in the Tribe’s 4 game sweep in Cleveland.  Cliff Lee continued his season of excellence and David Dellucci and the Beaded One both homered.
  • Game 2: The Devil Rays find their mojo, with a little help from yet another home plate umpire squeezing Fausto Carmona, who walked 5 in 4 innings.  Andy Marte singled to end an 0 for 20 slide.
• Game 3 deserves its own bullet point:  Perhaps the weirdest game so far this season (and folks, that is really saying something).  Among the noteworthy events: 
  • Franklin Gutierrez, leading off and playing centerfield while Grady got the day off, led off the game with a home run. 
  • Jhonny Peralta had 5 hits. 
  • Ryan Garko failed to run out a groundball (in fact, failing to leave the batter’s box) and was pulled from the DH spot in favor of Andy Marte, who got hits in his first two at bats. 
  • In the fifth inning, Eddie Mujica was called to warm up in the bullpen.  He tripped on the mound and fell flat on his face.  (Foreshadowing – your key to quality literature.) 
  • The Beaded One injured himself entering the field of play (I am not making this up) in the sixth inning.  This required Andy Gonzalez to move from first base to third base and Jamey Carroll to go to second base.  Why not insert Marte at third base?  He’s now the DH, so inserting him into the field would mean the Tribe loses the DH and the pitchers would be required to hit.  So, who goes to first base?  Our Pal Sal, of course, who moves from catcher to first base with Kelly Shoppach put in to catch.  
  • Meanwhile, the Indians have managed to enter the ninth inning with a 7-4 lead, and when Eric Wedge spun the Bullpen Roulette Wheel of Fortune, the little ball plunked into Eddie Mujica’s slot.  Eddie Moo, given his first opportunity to close out a game, promptly repeats his earlier bullpen effort by giving up two doubles and then a tying home run to Gabe Gross (yes, Gabe Gross).  Tie game.
  • Eric Wedge is forced to once again spin the Bullpen Roulette Wheel of Fortune, and this time it came up Kobayashi.  The first batter, Iwamura, was awarded an infield single by the first base umpire who claimed that Kobayashi failed to touch first base after fielding a toss from emergency interim first baseman Sal Fasono on a weak chopper to first base.  Kobayashi then walked Ben Zobrist and surrendered a three-run game-winning bomb to Carlos Pena.
  • Ninth inning summary: 6 batters, 6 runs, No outs, 15 pitches.
  • Luckily, the team has an off-day to dwell on this amazing collapse.
• Free Andy Marte Update: Marte finished July with a  .224 / .278 / .403  line, impacted by the aforementioned 0 for 20 slide.  His August start: .167 /.211 / .278.  Ouch. 
• Some transactions of note:  After Wednesday’s Terror at the Trop, Matt Ginter is now headed for the DL with an “injury”, Anthony Reyes was summoned to Cleveland after his second straight outstanding start for Buffalo.  Brendan Donnelly, the Goggled One, has also been called up in an attempt to find out whether financing his rehab was worth it and to add another name to the Bullpen Roulette Wheel of Fortune.  He takes over Tom Mastny’s slot on the Wheel, as Mastny was returned once again to Buffalo.
• The Indians Dome of Horrors Tour continues with three games in Toronto beginning tomorrow, when we throw Anthony Reyes into the fire.
• FWIW, the Terror at the Trop finally pushed the Indians into a run deficit position on the season.  They have scored 527 and given up 529 runs, for an expected record of 56-57.  The Indians’ actual record is 49-64, an underperformance of their Pythagorean Record by 7 full games.