Pronk Needs You!

The Tribe got outlucked by the Red Sox last night, 1-0, wasting a fine pitching effort from CC Sabathia. The Red Sox lone run was scored on two bloop hits, and Matsuzaka had the Tribe helping him out by swinging at bad pitches all game. The Indians appear to be pressing at the plate in this series, and it won’t help that they face Josh Beckett tonight.

Pronk, meanwhile, is 0 for his last 16, and his Mojo appears to be taking a midsummer vacation. Some speculation as to where his Mojo may or may not be:

• He may have loaned his mojo, in a fit of altruism to Jon Lester, lymphoma survivor.
• Lindsay Lohan does not have Pronk’s Mojo
• Nicholas Sarkozy may have used Pronk’s Mojo to release some Doctors Without Borders medics held captive by Libya
• Jumbo squid do not have Pronk’s Mojo
• Maybe Karen Holbrook used Pronk’s Mojo to get herself a nice parting bonus
• Perhaps the nude motorist in Germany has been using Pronk’s Mojo.
• Oprah! might have Pronk’s Mojo
• Maybe, Pronk has been trying to get his rest in Berlin where his rest is being interrupted by amorous hedgehogs.

Come back, Pronk’s Mojo! We implore you. It is up to you, Indians fans, to help find Pronk’s Mojo and restore it to him before this team falls any further behind the Tigers.